I hear himsigh. I've wrecked whatever relationship I had with Larry. He's alwaysbeen a great guy and taken care of the family. I have to make him proudof me. He won't be proud of a sissy. And that's what I am right now... asissy.I walk past the large mirror we have in the dining room. There I am. Inall my girlish glory. I wouldn't say I'm hot or sexy. Too flat. No hips.Hair's all wrong - too, I don't know, short? Boyish? Androgynous... yeahthat's it. My hair is too androgynous. Nice lips. After a while, it didn't... I didn't feel so guilty anymore if I could blame you... you know?" I began to see everything a different. Every time you were short with me or didn't agree with me... whether it was real or imagined... it gave me an excuse to see one more thing in a bad light. It got to be easy to make myself the victim. I started seeing you as holding me back, pressuring me to be something I couldn't be. I saw you still weren't trusting me from the first affair and I began to resent. "You're actually hearing me trying not to do that. I really work on, well, trying to say things in a way most people can understand. Sometimes the perfect word jumps into my mind and out of my mouth." I'm not complaining. It's just surprising to hear sometimes: visceral, disingenuous. Anyway, I wanted to know if we could give this another try. I promise not to go crazy again."He had a soothing voice. He was either well-practiced or sincere, and he clearly was not well-practiced."It wasn't. A quel punto andarmi a sistemare accanto a lei è stato del tutto naturale, a cazzo durissimo, e con movimenti lenti, mi sono seduto proprio nello spazio libero che mi aveva lasciato, senza dire una parola mi sono seduto alla sua sinistra, lei in mezzo, il compagno a destra. Silenzio, solo i nostri respiri rivolti al mare poco più in là. Lei, con il cazzo di lui nella mano destra, non ha perso tempo. Ha afferrato con la sinistra il mio arnese durissimo, e finalmente, come se impugnasse due.
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